Sophisticated Manipulation is a road to success.

I wrote a book called ’12 Steps to Sophisticated Manipulation.” The subtitle is “Winning without Fighting.” People focus on Manipulation, but the most important word is Sophisticated. Understanding and applying the concept of invisible influence, or "Sophisticated Manipulation," will help you be knowledgeable about the dynamics of life while possessing a degree of personal complexity.

The Things That Control Us

I believe there are twelve obvious steps that sophisticated people use to influence others. Where the average person does not realize they were manipulated. Sophisticated manipulators use things that are important to us, like time, money, addiction, and relationships. They can use negative or positive manipulation to gain personal success. But when we think of Manipulation, it is mostly negative and done to others by unscrupulous people. We view Manipulation as a selfish, one-sided encounter for personal gain. However, success is a positive interaction with passionate, hardworking, focused, creative, and persistent people.

Rarely do we view a successful person as being a thick-skinned manipulator, but a confident person with mental toughness, a hunger to achieve, courage, and a skill for planning. Those we see as failures exhibit obvious behaviors like lacking persistence, conviction, rationalizing, dismissing the past, lacking discipline, and self-esteem, with a fatalistic attitude. But most importantly, we view them as unable to influence or manipulate us.

If you agree with these statements, you should also agree that some of the most successful people in the world are manipulative. Would you consider Steve Jobs and Jeff Bezos to be successful manipulators? Both men stated how they use manipulation skills to gain and maintain success. Neither man was born into wealth but was able to get others to do things that helped them become successful. Can you find any successful person in history who stated they were a poor manipulator?

As a man, I desired women to be attracted to me. I began to study what women wanted in a man. This is the greatest form of manipulation—a positive form. Let's start this journey with 10 things you can do to attract a woman, and then we will get into the world of sophisticated manipulation.

Here are 10 of some of the most effective things:

1 Make an assessment of the opposite sex, ask a request for the Benjamin Franklin effect, and create a shared moment.

2 To show interest, look a person in the eyes and test their interest in you.

3 Repeat her name. The most important word in her world is mentioned three times.

4 Contiguous positivity and a smile make her feel great.

5. The camelina effect makes people want to be like you by mimicking" what they do as a mirror.

6. Make physical contact but with a subtle touch or minor touch.

7. The power of laughter without telling a joke.

8. Show confidence and carry yourself with assurance, with minimum effort.

9. The Lisberg effect refers to the first impression that makes them believe their whole life is that way.

10. The power of posture reveals a lot; keep arms and legs open and head up.

Now, let's take this to a more intense form of manipulation requiring sophistication. These 12 steps come from Sun Tzu's The Art of War.

Step 1: Making Detail Assessments

This step explores assessing the fundamental factors of life, like how important it is to know yourself before attempting to judge others.

Step 2: Be Motivating

This step describes why you should move through life responding to new and untested situations. It describes how to have others desire to be better than you. Lou Holtz, football coach, said, “Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.”

Step 3: Be Flexible

This step focuses on responding to shifting circumstances and the importance of options.

“You must understand that there is more than one path to the top of the mountain” ― Miyamoto Musashi.

Step 4 Develop a Warrior’s Mind

This step involves developing and utilizing psychological or mental skills that allow you to be adaptive but consistent in your relationships.

Step 5: Be Disciplined “

This step explains the need for economic action and behavior and the importance of having a code of conduct.

"We succeed only as we identify in life or war, or anything else, a single overriding objective, and make all other considerations bend to that objective." -- D. Eisenhower,

Step 6: Be Proactive

This step is about the importance of action, as it involves Attack, Strategy, Alliances, Forces, and Environment; it is about acting before action is needed.

“If you do not control the enemy, the enemy will control you” ― Miyamoto Musashi.

Step 7: Developing Control

This step explains the importance of defending existing positions until it is safe to move and having systems to ensure you have control.

“Supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting.” ― Sun Tzu.

Step 8 Being an Expert

This step explains using creativity, timing, experience, and knowledge to maximize resources and create trust. This is about knowing more than others to be a resource in times of trouble.

“Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success.” – Swami Sivananda,

Step 9: Planning

“Fools rush in where angels fear to tread,” a statement by Alexander Pope. This step explains how opportunities come from others' weaknesses and how to use this knowledge.

Step 10: Be a Leader

This step examines ways to overcome the three resistance areas and is about answering all the “why” questions.

Lee Iacocca of the Ford Motor Company said, “Any supervisor worth his salt would rather deal with people who attempt too much than with those who try too little.”

Step 11: Understanding Your Environment

This step explains the six types of attacks and appropriate responses that you may encounter.

Step 12: Develop Intelligence Sources

This step focuses on using knowledge and how research is as important as taking action.

“Only the enlightened ruler and the wise general will use the highest intelligence of the army for the purposes of spying, and thereby they achieve great results.” Sun Tzu

It is not important to take these steps in order, but mastering any one step will lead to understanding others and how to incorporate them into your life.

Read the "12 Steps to Sophisticated Manipulation."